As a lifestyle content creator, it’s not uncommon to post her Outfit of the Day.
Diana Lively has done it plenty of times before.
The Atlanta-based creative thought showcasing her ensemble to a friend’s wedding would be no different — until it went viral. Lively opted for a liberally low plunging dress that accentuated her pregnancy; she has a 15-month-old son and is expecting a baby girl for the holidays.
What was supposed to be an ordinary post about rating an outfit became a breeding ground for cyberbullying. Thousands of comments and hundreds of response videos to “The Lady in the Purple Dress” started flooding in, many attacking Lively’s appearance, character, choice of wedding attire, size and even her marriage.
The unexpected viral attention prompted her to reflect on the impact of social media negativity.
It took its own life.
“I was just baffled,” Lively said about the reaction to her TikTok video that now has more than two million views. “It took a whole lifeform within itself. I’ve never seen so much hate on my page.”
Lively, 28, said her TikTok community is almost always supportive and overwhelmingly positive. In a post earlier this month, she asked her followers’ opinion about her and her husband’s wedding attire. She took special consideration into what she would wear to the event, because of her belly bump. And for her, traditional maternity clothes just don’t cut it.
Her dress highlighted her pregnancy and made her feel good. Plus, Lively said she consulted the bride before purchasing it.
“I understand that the dress was not modest, but I’m also not a modest woman in any sense of the word,” Lively said with glowing confidence. Some commentary about her video suggested she was trying to steal the show from her betrothed friend.
“Nobody really batted an eye or made my dress a thing,” Lively said about the end-of-summer garden wedding. “I didn’t feel like anyone was whispering about me or anything like that.”
When she posted the Purple Dress video, the first few comments were on par with what she typically sees. Then she noticed it shifting into something incredibly disturbing.
Personal Attacks and Cyberbullying
“People started making comments about my body. ‘Ew,’ ‘disgusting,’ ‘nasty,’ ” Lively said. “This past week has definitely been a lot for me. Emotionally, just feeling like, number one: what did I do to deserve this? In what world did a rate my outfit 1-10 turn into this?”
Lively said she had about 10,000 followers on TikTok at the time of going viral. Her followers grew by more than 3,000, but it came at a cost. Not only was there a cesspool of comments and reactions, but she saw series where other creators questioned her intentions and even YouTube videos where her outfit choice was dissected.
After a while, Lively disabled her comments on the post and “doomscrolled” to escape. Then, she began seeing videos and pictures of herself on her own For You Page.
She quickly realized this was no longer about her purple dress. The attacks became deeply personal.
People were treating me as though I went to their personal wedding dressed like this. People calling me all kind of bitches and hoes. It was a lot.”
Atlanta-Based TikToker Diana Lively on Viral Purple Dress Video
“I feel like my body’s being attacked with me literally housing my daughter,” Lively said. “To me, it’s something I have to stand for on my platform: I’m not going to allow my body to be shamed while it’s literally creating life.
“Period.”
Lively ascertained her body type invited some of the hate. She said it wasn’t about her simply wearing the dress, it was about her, a 200-lb. Black woman, being happy in the dress.
Another creator, a skinnier white woman, took to TikTok to share a video of her wearing the exact same dress as Lively’s to a wedding. This proved Lively’s point that there would be no such conversation if a different body type were wearing that dress.
Broader Social Media Reflection
The backlash also came on the cusp of another earth-shattering tragedy for Black Americans; reports of 21-year-old Black student in Mississippi found hanging from a tree on the campus of Delta State University came out the same week. Trey Reed’s death was ruled by suicide.
For the reaction over a dress to be so intense, Lively suggests it’s time to go outside and smell the roses.
My purple dress, which I still love by the way, is not the situation to be foaming at the mouth for.
“My purple dress, which I still love by the way, is not the situation to be foaming at the mouth for,” she said. “We need to put more energy into bigger things at hand — point, blank, period. That’s not to say people can’t give their opinions. Hey, I put it online, you don’t like the dress, great, but it could have started and stopped there. But to spew so much hate in the times that we’re living in politically, where Black bodies are being hung…just, it’s been a week.”
Her first viral video of this magnitude has since cooled down. Lively knows what comes with the territory but never imagined a simple video would garner so much hate.
This moment helped her understand the importance of having a firm foundation. Through severe online backlash, even as someone as confident at Lively found herself needing a moment of reassurance from her community. This included her loving husband, who remained diligent about her maternal health, her family and loved ones.
Reclaiming the Narrative
Lively has continued to post about her life through authenticity. Her outfits, her natural hair journey, her experience as a first-generation Haitian American, overcoming her jaded childhood in foster care and everything in between. She believes existing online can be a beautiful thing, despite her recent experience.
Her advice: you don’t owe anyone online anything.
“Do not let people online tell you who you are,” said Lively, who reclaimed her narrative by standing on self-worth. “That’s the way I want to present and exist online. That’s what’s most important to me, showcasing my heart and who I am.”
