Bad sex can be extremely discouraging for both partners and can wreak havoc on relationships if not addressed. 

So what do you do when you’re sexually frustrated with your partner? How do you find your way back to pleasure? 

Get out ahead of it.

Here’s how: 

Communicate Your Needs

The key to great sex is communication, especially when there are challenges in the bedroom. 

Talk to your partner about what you want. Be honest and try to relax, even if you’re in a rut. 

If you’re frustrated because he doesn’t focus on your pleasure, express that. If you’d like to explore new things, say so. When you’re sexually frustrated, it’s important to confront it before it becomes a larger problem.

Focus on the positive, and make it fun — don’t forget body language. 

Satisfying sex comes to those who communicate. 

Amp Up The Foreplay

Foreplay is crucial for satisfying sex, especially for women. It takes women longer to get aroused, and the great sexual prelude prepares the mind and body for sex. Communication as discussed in the previous section can be part of foreplay, too. 

Foreplay also increases clitoral stimulation, which leads to orgasms. 

Don’t zone out and stay the course. 

Focus on Intimacy Without Sex 

Chances are romance may not be as spontaneous and spicy as it was before you had children. After dealing with the struggles of postpartum, it’s hard to get back into a groove.

Dedicate some time to intimacy outside of sex. Kiss, cuddle, laugh, caress. Even working out together can be a great option for physical intimacy. 

Take a walk down memory lane and rediscover what used to turn you on and try to recreate that if there’s space and opportunity. 

For this tip, though, you both have to make time and put in effort. 

Experiment

Mix things up. Talk about new things you’d like to try or ask him if there are new things he’d like to try. Do some research, together or apart, and try it out. 

Experimenting can also apply to sex in new places — go for a quickie in the kitchen or bathroom or try in a different room altogether. 

A change of scene can be helpful.

Talk it Out

There’s no shame in seeking professional help — that’s what it’s made for.

Consider finding a compatible therapist if the frustrations and issues are beginning to effect the health of your relationship.